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If your roommate never walked in on you naked, you`re not naked near enough.
i am not so think, as you drunk i am
After listening to what some people have to say, I am rethinking the importance this whole freedom of speech thing.
If at first you don`t succeed ... I just lie and say I did.
Of course everyone seems sexy in a nightclub. There’s liquor and you can’t hear them.
MAN LAW 101: No man should ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man.
There`s no b, c, d, f, g, h, j, k, l, n, o, p, q, r, s, u, v, w, x, y, or z in team either.
I really like it when women check me out, they seem to be able to work the register a lot better than men.
It’s interesting how the ads on Youtube never have trouble buffering
I DON`T NEED ANYONE OR ANYTHING!!! (Except for Louie...the name I`ve given this meatball sub.)
Non alcoholic beer is like porn movie on a radio
You can lead a horse to water but I`d rather ride it to the liquor store.
That awkward moment when you take a bath in the middle of the day and don`t know whether to wear normal clothes or pajamas.
You`d think by episode 133 the Scooby Doo gang would know it`s a guy in a costume every time.
True love is when you burn your tongue when you take a bite from a pizza and you still keep eating it.