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According to national reports, car thefts in the US are now at a 20 year low...Well, sure, it`s hard to steal a car when the owner`s living in it...
Whats the difference between a phone number & an opinion? People ask for your phone number.
I was an adult once. Then I opened a Facebook account.
Enough with procrastination, it’s time for excuses.
Adulthood is when 4:30am is early in the morning instead of late at night.
I’m pretty much always down for a snack.
I spend the first half of work fantasizing about all the different places I could go for lunch.
A person soon learns how little they know when a child begins to ask questions.
The color 9 is my favorite letter.
My version of flirting is looking at someone attractive multiple times while hoping they are more brave than I am.
Win every argument simply by repeating your opponent`s last sentence in a whiny voice.
There`s a time and a place for alcohol ... In my hand and now.
I used to think I was overreacting. Now I realize it was a normal reaction to an abnormal amount of bullsh!t.
pharmacy was out of my BP meds...so i bought a baseball bat instead..that works much faster
Me and my recliner...we go way back.