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Is it hibernation time yet? Because I am 100% into that.
If I had a time machine I`d go back to 900 A.D. and just scare the sh!t out of people with an electric toothbrush.
Girls are too sensitive. She said she was having twins and I said, "At least you`ll finally have 2 kids by the same father."
Has anyone EVER checked to see how the room or wall behind them looks before taking and posting 50 selfies?!
never judges a book by its cover. I use the paragraph on the back, it tells you what the story is about.
I live for two reasons. 1) I was born. 2) I haven`t died yet.
"Why haven`t you been answering my pigeons?" - 17th century sext
Guacamole is my favorite food that looks like someone already ate it.
I got my stomach by doing as many crunches as I can everyday. Usually either Nestle or Captain
Saying something stupid and thinking “Yeah, that sounded way better in my head"
I forgot to post this earlier
Should hallways in mental institutes be called psycho-paths?
Neighbors at it again. I do NOT want to know the words to "Wrecking Ball" by Miley Cyrus!
I swear, if Facebook changes their layout one more time, I’m going to post a status update about it & then use their site as much as always.
What does "it" mean in the sentence "What time is it?"?