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I spent an hour at Walmart last night.. I can now totally disprove evolution.. O_o
I`m hosting a wine tasting event in my home. Well, it`s not really an event. It`s just me and three bottles of wine. No one else is invited.
Some days there just isn`t enough give-a-damn.
Christmas tip: Wrap empty boxes and put them under the tree. Everytime your child acts up, throw one in the fireplace.
There are times, when I actually am hungry like the wolf. But thanks to Duran Duran I can`t tell anyone without sound like a complete f*cking idiot
Roses Are Red, Violets Are Red, Trees Are Red ... F*ck? my gardens on fire!
Please, lord, let me prove that winning the lottery won`t spoil me!
i m not totally useless, i can b used as bad example
If you`re going to be original, be prepared to be copied.
The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.
LIKE if you check your phone to see what time it is and then check it again because the first time you weren’t paying attention.
Dating tip: Men always remember the woman who vomited on them.
Do you ever walk out of a bathroom and want to put a sign on the door that says "I was just peeing It smelled that way when I went in there"
They say do what you love & the money will follow. I love doing nothing. We`ll see.
My method of going "offline" in FB chat is to just ignore you.