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You know it`s good advice, when your still confused afterwards.
If I could have dinner with anyone either alive or dead. I would totally choose dead. Because, more food for me then.
Nothing good has ever come from answering a call from a blocked phone number.
For parents of small children, weekends are about as relaxing as showering with cats.
Party like you will never be invited to another!
I love facebook... It`s the only place where I can talk to a wall and not look like an idiot...
If you laid out all of the people in the world who were ever mean to me, I could then drive my car over them.
Every time I think I finally have the life I always dreamed of....I wake up.
Hitting on women at this PTA meeting would probably be easier if I actually had a kid at this school.
A Relationship is like poker, if you don`t have a partner you better have a good hand.
Like a good neighbor, strip clubs are there
Today I think I`ll send out texts saying "Hey, I got a new phone and lost your number. Can I have it again?" ...JUST to see how many responses I will get. ;)
2015 and I still can`t believe it`s not butter!
Spoiler Alert: Ladies, if your guy friend gets you a teddy bear, it has a Camera in it.
Nothing says IDGAF like an old lady at a slot machine wearing oxygen and smoking a cigarette.