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According to a recent study 52% of women have used vibrators....I`m guessing the other 48% have new ones?
When they say " drink responsibly ", what they really mean is "don`t f***in spill it!"
Facial recognition software can pick out a person in a crowd, but this stupid vending machine at work can`t recognize my dollar bill with a bent corner...
Just want to apologize to all the unlucky men that have had to deal with my ex because I dumped her.
Gentlemen may not be extinct, but they are definitely endangered
I just wanted you all to know that I`m leaving Facebook. The ride has been a blast and I`ve made a ton of friends. Your humor and wit is amazing. I`ll miss all of u, but I`ve decided I need to spend more time with my family...so see you after breakfast!!
I love a room with a fire place it sets the tone for a romantic night, drinking wine slow dancing, burning evidence.
Facebook has suggested that I POKE you.
Hate having friends? Just chew with your mouth open.
If you haven`t used your fingers to "expand" a picture in a Magazine today, well then you`re not me.
Home is where a man hangs his hat. Unless that man is wearing a sun visor. Then he probably dosent have a home or friends..
Never laugh at your wife`s choices. You are one of them :)
*Goes to the gym. Takes a selfie in front of the weights. Leaves.
I went shopping for some camouflage trousers earlier. Couldn’t find a pair anywhere.
I think girls secretly enjoy putting guys in the friend zone