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There is a huge difference between a hot girl and a girl wearing lesser clothes.
Nobody wants to know your diet. So shut up, eat your lettuce and be sad.
Getting over body issues is a like getting over a fear of heights. The trick is not to look down.
The problem with the world today is that intelligent people are too smart to have children.
Eventually we’re just gonna have to accept “ducking” is a swear word.
The proper way to use a stress ball is to throw it at the last person to piss you off.
Studies show that people with high sex drives also tend to be very forgetful. Did I tell you guys that already?
I just saw a man salute the Budweiser truck on the highway. LMAO
Always look both ways before crossing a woman.
It`s so cute how you can throw balls right at kids faces in the Chuck E Cheese ball pit and they think you`re just playing.
Drunk me would really appreciate a light switch on the floor.
Nintendo should handle education, I don’t remember half the crap from high school but I know all of Super Mario World’s secrets.
I`m not sarcastic…I`m just intellegent beyond your understanding.
We think therefore we must be, but are we?
You know you`re drunk when you sit down on the toilet & try to put your seatbelt on