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Let`s sleep in until it`s time to go to bed again
Thanks to everyone for the Birthday wishes! To anyone who missed it.”No cake for you!!"
Apparently somebody gets stabbed every 52 seconds...sucks to be that guy
Want the truth? Just ask a kid.
Ya know u would never know u where happy if u never had bad memory.
whenever i`m bored I just expect at any moment for the Koolaid man to break through my wall and take me on a deliciously refreshing adventure!
Bumper stickers are helpful for recognizing members of society you do not want to associate with.
I dont know about you guys, but I am amazed Pringles is able to constantly grow the same shaped potato. Science.
If anyone every texts me “who is this” I always respond “Jake from state farm”
A quiet man is a thinking man. A quiet woman is usually mad.
I’m not getting old. I’m becoming a classic.
That mind-blowing moment when you realize chores were really the crap your parents didn’t want to do.
Don`t get out of bed, it`s a trap.
Its so cold out, I actually saw a gangsta with his pants UP!
Send me one more game request and I`m showing up at your house drunk, at 4am, naked and demanding a game of Twister