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Ya Know?!?......The number of ways I could care less...... is astounding!
Always look for the girl with the ponytail holder on her wrist.
The universe contains protons,neutrons,electrons and morons.
I may love you...but everyone else thinks you suck! I was kidding... I think you suck too.
I love a room with a fire place it sets the tone for a romantic night, drinking wine slow dancing, burning evidence.
What`s worse to have stuck in your head; a knife or All About That Bass?
Sleep is for the people without access to Internet.
I wonder when people without cars pick their noses…
All those years of getting horrible elementary school pictures was just society`s way of preparing you for your driver`s license photo.
If you can´t convince them, confuse them.
Nothing says "under the thumb" like a joint Facebook account
Behind every good selfie is approximately 47 nearly identical pictures that didn`t make the cut.
Things that don`t kill bees: 1. Furniture polish 2. Febreeze 3. Butter 4. Screaming
I can`t wait til the Presidential race ends so we can stop hating people for their politics and go back to hating people because they`re jerks
If Jesus was the son of Mary and he was the Lamb of God, Does that mean Mary had a Little Lamb?