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People assume when I yawn that I`ve lost interest in what they have to say but truth be told, I was never interested.
real eyes realize real lies
One quality I`m not looking for in a partner is the ability to maintain a virtual farm. #FarmVille
I wish the media and politicians would stop jumping to delusions.
There really should be awards for getting out of bed.
I`m a passionate supporter of things that don`t inconvenience me or require any type of action or physical effort.
Not to brag, but I’m pretty good in bed. I don’t snore or steal covers, and I only pee if something startles me.
Some people never go crazy...... What truly horrible lives they must live
So if a dentist makes money off people with unhealthy teeth, why should we trust a toothbrush that 4 out of 5 dentists recommend?
If the shoe fits . . . buy one in every color
I bet my road rage will be taken seriously once I get a car.
I don`t know what I would do without Facebook, but I`m sure it would be something more productive
You know you had an interesting day when your Google search history includes "rubber panda".
You know, rumor has it that the Mona Lisa may have been the first selfie.
Bill Gates: A billi a billi a billi JayZ: Half billi half billi half billi Lil Wayne: A milli a milli a milli Me: A dollar a dollar a dollar