Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
One quality I`m not looking for in a partner is the ability to maintain a virtual farm. #FarmVille
I have an awesome idea, but first I`ll need a zebra, bungee cords, jello, and a partner in crime. Any takers?
Plan B includes margaritas.
If you have a parrot and you don’t teach it to say,”Help, they’ve turned me into a parrot” ...you`re wasting everybody’s time.
I had no plans on looking sexy today, but sh!t happens.
"That was supposed to be a compliment." -Men
If your talking behind my back then guess what? Your in a pretty good position to kiss my a$$!!!!
If I died and went straight to hell, it would take me more than a week to realize that I`m not at work anymore....
Good things come to those who wait ... Which explains why I`m always late.
I was told that I had an alcohol problem, but I think me and Captain Morgan have it figured out..
If all men are created equal then why are there midgets?
It`s so strange to think that before Facebook all of this nonsense just stayed in people`s heads
Happy 4/21! National work drug testing day!
You’re not important enough to have haters. You just have a few people who notice you’re an a$$hole.
I went to the Dr today with severe headaches .. he asked if I suffered from any memory loss. I said "How the F would I know?"