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I have a feeling my check liver light will come on this weekend
Sorry I`m late, the floor was lava
I love you with all my thighs. I would say my heart, but my thighs are much bigger.
I`m having fruit salad for dinner, well, it`s mostly grapes...crushed grapes ...ok, it`s wine, I`m having wine!
If each day is a gift, I`d like to know where I can return Monday.
Who cares about throwing stones? How do people in glass houses hide when somebody knocks on the door?
Steve Jobs` text was meant to say: "I reign as CEO of Apple" Iphone autocorrect strikes again!
Those Box Tops that raise money for schools really should be on wine labels and cases of beer.
Thank God I still have 20 days to achieve my goal of "going to the gym in 2013."
Sorry for whatever I said when I was hungry.
I think we`ll be friends forever because we`re too lazy to find new friends.
I`m so broke right now if anybody robbed me they`d just be practicing
Technically, if you don`t cut the cake, it`s still just one slice.
Just saw a coyote next to the highway... I hope this tunnel ahead isn`t just painted on.
I wonder if there`s a margarita somewhere out there thinking about me, too.