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My entire life is a “you had to be there” moment.
I`m actually a really good driver, when Facebook is down.
Im at a beer tasting today..so far they all taste the same out of this case...well done Budweiser...well done!!
This day is only a margarita away from being a good one.
I consider anything that doesn`t fit in the dishwasher to be for one time use.
If I ran the country, things would be a lot better ... Well, for me anyway.
If we aren`t supposed to be too close to the microwave then why do they show us food twirling around in there?
FACT: Every zoo is a petting zoo, if you’re brave enough.
I am not sure why a guy getting trapped in a vagina sculpture is big news...men have been trapped by vaginas for many years.
Hi there beautiful, can I drive you to drink?
Can I tell you how terribly grateful I am that no one had cell phones, iPads or digital cameras when I had to squaredance in P.E.
Is anyone going to tell America`s funniest videos about YouTube?
Its so hot I used my blow dryer as a cooling fan!
I think I may have misunderstood my boss yesterday when she told me that she wanted to see me hard at work
I went shopping for some camouflage trousers earlier. Couldn’t find a pair anywhere.