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There`s a difference between having a unique name and a common name that`s spelled wrong.
No one has ever said, "You know what would make this even better? ... Turkey bacon."
Apparently this Walmart cashier only brushes her favorite teeth.
If I could just make one thing very clear at this point ... I would.
Size does matter-just ask Pluto.
I can`t believe that it`s almost the year 2014 and I still have to bend down to pick stuff up.
Tennis is like marrying for money. Love means nothing.
I’m just SOOO busy. I spend 70% of my day telling people how busy I am and the other 30% trying to make myself look REALLY REALLY busy.
All I`m saying is, you`ve never seen me crying and eating tacos at the same time
Ladies and Gentleman, I’ve traveled a long way, crossed many bridges, fought my way through countless obstacles, all to bring you this one sad truth about life. There’s never enough beer.
Instead of laughing my a$$ off, I`m going to start laughing my stomach off. I`d rather lose that.
I was hooked on auctions after only going once... going twice
My mind has a mind of its own.
When Miley is naked & licks a hammer it’s “art” & “music” ... but when I do it, I`m “wasted” & “have to leave Home Depot"
Every store should have one line for people who have their sh!t together.