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Just slung my bra off & threw it to the other side of the couch where there are already 2 other bras. If my math is right, it`s Wednesday.
I sent one of those swabs off for DNA sampling. Apparently, I`m 50% Crest, 25% Denture fixative, 13% kebab, and 12% Rum.
My dog`s ratio of digging holes in my yard to finding buried treasure is not where I`d like it to be.
They keep saying the right person will come along, I think mine got hit by a truck.
OK. So I danced like no one was watching. Anyone know a good lawyer?
Why does the girl in the Wendy`s commercials have Ronald McDonalds hair?
I just read last year 4,153,237 people got married. I don’t want to start any trouble, but shouldn’t that be an even number? ...hmm
Just remember, If we get caught you`re deaf and I don`t speak English.
A golden rule to live by: Never do anything that you wouldn’t want to explain to the paramedics!
I’ve discovered, the easiest way to change a flat tire is by not wearing a bra.
three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere "Hold my purse."
Can`t believe people still say "pot" it`s not the 70s anymore we call it "saucepan" now
The baby gets furious when I try to undress him. Must get that from his mother.
If he only wants you for your breasts, legs, and thighs; Send him to KFC by SIMO
Reaching under the couch for something is the closest I’ll ever get to yoga.