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I always stop to help women broke down. I don`t know sh!t about cars, but I do know how a good porno starts off!
Such a relief when things I`ve been meaning to do become things I meant to do but now it`s too late.
I love to start my day by getting on Facebook to see who is a whiny little bi!ch today.
If life Sucks, what makes you think death doesn`t Blow??
If I ever sound inspriational, one of us is drunk.
Got this super hard game on my phone called Bank Of America. You only get a power up every 2 weeks? Need cheat codes
Fact: No woman has ever shot a man while he is doing the dishes!
I`m off to get my beauty sleep. Yeah, I know...I`m already so beautiful you can`t stand it! I promise...a little more isn`t lethal...yet! ;) Goodnight!
One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.
That awkward moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, Knock over a lamp, and kill a cat.
If it lasts 4 hours I`m not only callin a Dr, I`m callin everybody!!
Woke up screaming this morning. My apologies to everyone in the meeting.
I just thought you should know, I just did all the laundry and didn`t lose a sock to the dryer monster...
I hate when someone texts me cause then I can`t post anything on the internet or they`ll know I`m ignoring them.
Facebook is the reason why my work is not done.