Daily Silly Status

Women, if you want to strike a bit of fear into your man, just smile really big and ask him, "Notice anything different?"

You don`t have to like me, I`m not a Facebook status.

Walked into the kitchen for orange juice; walk out with sandwich, crackers, chocolate milk, and the TV remote I lost 30 minutes ago

Make sure your goals are unattainable so you`ll feel a little better about giving up later

Right before I die, my last words will be, "I left a million dollars in the........

Life`s tough. It`s tougher if you`re stupid...

I`d say that 6:30 is the best clock time, hands down.

The graveside service just barely finished, when there was massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance...The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, `Well, she`s there`

For every action, there’s an equal and opposite reaction. Plus a social media overreaction.

It doesn`t take much to make a woman happy, but it takes even less to make her mad.

People who have more than 10 items in the express line… We see you and we are judging you.

Best thing = Waking up, looking in your refrigerator and seeing a pizza box.

If I’m not eating I’m most likely not happy.

Being unsure has never stopped me from making a decision.

I love food, napping on the couch, and getting super excited about car rides, I`m basically a golden retriever.