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It`s all about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship`s kitchen.
You say peeping tom. I say highly active member of the neighborhood watch.
I hate to admit it, but I’ve got a serious drinking problem. I don’t have any more money to buy liquor.
Keep talking; someday you’ll say something intelligent.
Apparently not checking the mail is not a valid excuse for not paying your bills. The more you know.
My give a damn is busted! Parts on backorder....
Save water. Shower with me. ;)
he who laughs last thinks slow
The hay in baby Jesus`s manger came from Christian Bales.
You know it´s cold outside when during rush hour you get the mitten instead of the finger.
According to the 19 citations I got for trespassing and peeping, "neighborhood watch" isn`t what I thought it was.
When I say lol, I don`t literally mean I laughed out loud. What I actually mean is that I made a loud outward breath through my nose, similar to a bull.
How strange, some guy just waved half of a peace sign at me...
I`m at that "licking peanutbutter off a spoon" time to go grocery shopping point....
Gravity didn`t seem this strong twenty-five years ago.