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Million dollar idea: Duck Dynasty chia pets.
I know you people are crazy. I can spot my own kind a mile away.
K-Y should be called K-WHEN, because we already know why.
I´m pretty sure I had a good time last night. Let me finish reading the police report and I´ll let you know.
During the first two weeks of January, people often resolve to lose weight, which is great for me because the line at Golden Corral is much shorter.
Ways to tell a woman is mad at you: 1. She is silent. 2. She is yelling. 3. She acts different. 4. She acts the same. 5. She kills you.
Cool thing about winter is after grocery shopping your car can double as your refrigerator.
"The secret is that it`s all in the wrist!" -My grandfather talking about golf or handjobs or something
Please tell me I’m not the only one who opens up their Hershey Kisses ever so gently so that the foil doesn’t tear.
The internet...turning cowards into tough guys daily.
When a guy says "I`m Fine" what he is really trying to say is that he is fine.
I would be a terrible stalker because A) I`m not motivated enough B) You would always hear the rattle of peanut m&ms behind you.
thinks that life was a lot simpler when I thought girls had cooties, and getting to the bottom of the sandbox was a good day.
Those "Speed Enforced by Aircraft" signs don`t understand how eager I am to get pulled over by an F-16.
The squirrels must be gathering nuts. Three of my neighbors have disappeared.