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If you see anything posted from me that involves something normal or appropriate, it is not me. I believe I`ve been hacked.
I hate when all the silverware is dirty and I`m down to using the giant decorative fork that hangs on the wall.
Matchbooks exist just to be clues in detective movies.
Lazy fact #128540162, You were too lazy to read that number.
All I ask is to one day live in a house with secret passages.
Somebody is out there, somewhere, thinking of the impact you`ve made in their life. It`s not me. I think your an idiot.
Hope you don`t mind if I make transformer sound effects when we switch positions.
Sometimes you have to burn a few bridges to keep the crazies from following you.
So far, I`ve had exactly "call my ex" number of beers tonight!!!
I bet you can`t keep the funny and not funny the same number.
Why does no one ever talk about where a bear pees?
I want my children to have all the things I never had so then I can move in with them.
There is a 3-for-2 sale in my local shoe shop. I almost bought myself a new pair of shoes, but couldn`t decide whether to get an extra left or a right one as part of the offer....
Movie comes on while im in bed: ugh ive seen this a million times. Movie comes on before I have to get ready for work: oh hell yea a classic
I don`t fear death... It happens to everyone. I just hope when I am dead and buried, I don`t vote Democrat.