Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m going to make a bucket list: Things I`m going to do before I kick the bucket. Number 1: WEAR SHOES!!!
Money is the root of all evil. For more information, send $10 to me.
I`m well on my way to getting absolutely nothing done today.
Saw a billboard ad for potato chips that proudly claimed "There`s a lot of pride in every bag!" Hmmm...is "pride" another word for "air"?
I took a sexual harassment course this afternoon.... I think I am going to be pretty good at it.
Donβt ask me to kill a spider for you & then criticize my methods. Yes, I had to use a samurai sword, & no, Iβm not sorry about your table.
My house looks like I`m losing a game of Jumanji.
Don`t get me started Bitches, I don`t come with brakes.
looong and hard, yep thats my pencil.
I don`t work that hard, I just make everything look way more difficulat than it is...
We all have that one friend that needs to learn how to whisper.
Well, I`m going to take a hot shower. Its like a regular shower, but with me in it.
Before telling me to listen to my heart you may want to check that it isn`t telling me to kick you in the shin!
Weekends r like d salary.. It takes a lot to get thr, & whn it finally does, it`s over in no time ;) - aa
Iβm in a rush to go home and do absolutely nothing.