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Seems like everyone is either trying to pretend they have the life they want, or escape the life they have.
Happy New Years Everyone! (I stole this status:) )
If you`ve ever watched a butcher wrap pork chops, you`ve seen me wrapping Christmas presents.
If I had a cooking show, it would be called “Do You Smell Something Burning?”
finally joined craigs list. who wants to see my junk?
The most difficult part about taking a personality test is deciding which personality should take it.
Exercise makes you look and feel better naked ... But, so does Tequila
I haven`t crunched all the numbers, but early calculations show that a large percentage of people don`t care what you think.
Sorry I missed your call. I took too long to answer because I was dancing to the ringtone.
Teacher: Have a seat! Student: Thanks! *picks up the chair and leaves* -- (°_°)
I always stop to help women who have broken down on the road. I don`t know sh!t about cars, but I do know how porn starts off. -Bfanch
I thought my life would include more impromptu sing-alongs.
A cute thing I tell my kids when we see a dead deer on the side of the road is, "Looks like Santa lost his temper again."
No need to drive me crazy. I can walk from here.
Still have not used all the free hours from my AOL start up disk