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Who needs dance lessons when you`ve got alcohol?!
When you called me a b*tch, did you mean it as an insult or a compliment?
I built that beach a sandcastle. Beaches love sandcastles.
Sometimes I meow back at cats.
Zoos would be cooler if you had to fight each animal before you could see the next one.
Life would be more simple if the person who named the orange an orange would have named more things. ;) Just Sayin`
Eat breakfast: Check...Pay Phone: Check...Conquer the world: Still Pending...
Definition of insanity - Doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results
Of course you have a right to your own opinion. Just like I have a right to tell you to shove it up your a$$.
All you need is WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn`t move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn`t, use the tape.
I slept and woke up. (ok, lately this has become a major accomplishment in my life)
The baby gets furious when I try to undress him. Must get that from his mother.
Part of me wants to help you with your crisis, but part of me wants to go to happy hour.
Missing my childhood super-powers, when I could sleep on the couch and wake up in bed.
My ID expired so I can only go to the liquor store where they remember me: The one where I asked the cashier out and threw up on the floor.