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Sorry that offended you, I really didn’t think you’d get it.
I get carried away sometimes… Usually because I refuse to leave.
Sometimes I get road rage standing in lines.
Insomnia causes questionable browser history.
Rubix cubes are EASY....when you`re color blind.
Better ingredients. Better pizza. Horrible acting. Papa Johns.
I am, have to avoid the leg cramps during sex, years old.
Some people say a true friend stabs you in the front. I’m gonna go ahead and say a true friend just puts the knife down.
They say `No news is good news,` but I think it just means I have a lazy paperboy.
I don´t like people who can´t make fun of themselves. It just makes more work for me.
Afraid of not getting what you ordered when online shopping…..Ha, try online dating
and alcohol are now friends.
Still haven`t cashed in my winning megamillions ticket...scared the $6 will make my friends treat me different.
My last boyfriend used to smile and say "I love you" to me every morning as he left for work. At least I think that`s what he was saying. It can be tricky to lip read through binoculars.
I imagine some people are like...: `should I take the shower?...no...I`m taking the train today...`