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I don’t want to sound racist, but all stormtroopers look the same to me.
Thinking about starting a line of realistic welcome mats with things like "Please don`t stay long!" or "I hope you brought booze."
I love finding money in my clothes. It`s like a gift to me... from me. :)
Got suspended from Instagram for going on everyone`s food pics and posting the calories.
You can’t call them “love handles” if nobody loves you
Girls are always taking your hoodies but you take one of their dresses and suddenly they`re all like "we need to talk."
Is there another word for synonym?
I need a leaf blower, but for people.
A high school diploma takes you 12 years to get, 2 minutes to frame and a lifetime to forget where you put it.
one day a man seen a fairy, and asked.... could you make me irresistible to all women.... so she turned him into a credit card. :`D
Today`s brilliant idea: Slim Fast beer.
Do Hostess employees have Snowball fights?
LIFE HACK: Answer your phone "Hello you`re on the air" and 99% of the time people will just hang up
People always say, "You can`t have your cake and eat it too." I say, "Of course you can. Just make two cakes!"
There is no such thing as something looking "Too good to eat"