Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You can tell a guy has a woman in his life when he remembers to do stuff like put on deodorant and wipe his butt most of the time!
Hey Samsung and Apple, no need for commercials. We’ve all chosen sides.
There aren’t enough days in the weekend.
I have many talents, but giving an f*ck isn’t one of them
Adding lyrics when you don`t know the words or making words up when you don`t speak the language. ;)
That awkward moment when the mosquito is more interested in persistently banging it`s head against the windshield of your vehicle in an attempt to escape your presence than it is in trying to bite you. #feelingunattractive
Your shadow is a confirmation that light has traveled nearly 93 million miles unobstructed, only to be deprived of reaching the ground in the final few feet thanks to you
My friends always use to say, "there`s plenty of fish in the sea." But looks like I ignored their advice and ended up marrying a whale.
It usually only takes about five minutes into any conversation I’m having before people start shaking their head and quoting the bible.
Sorry if my phone keeps calling you, it`s voice activated. I`m at the mall and everytime santa says Ho, Ho, Ho, it dials your number
Personal trainer said we`re going to try some dips today. I brought hot salsa and tangy cheese...He hates me.
on a scale of 1-10 how honest are you? I would say 10 but then i would be lying!
Benefits of dating me: 1. You`re the sane one.
I like to skip when I`m carrying my flamethrower cause no one ever suspects a skipping girl of starting fires.
Don`t let anyone call you an "underachiever". If they knew you, they`d know how amazing it is that you`ve managed to accomplish anything.