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I`ll be taking my time and yours,, thank you....... -- all 80 yr. old drivers
I`m here to pick you up when you fall. Whether I tripped you is another thing...
I love living single, drinking double, and sleeping triple.
At any given time, my wallet is worth more than it’s contents.
Right now I`m having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I`ve forgotten this before.
Sometimes I whisper, "I`m on your side" to the computers, just in case they ever succeed in taking over the world...
There`s no way to look cool when the doctor walks into your exam room just as you`re blowing up a rubber glove.
If I had three wishes, I`d use one for boobs. Because I`m pretty sure I could get everything else that I wanted if I had boobs.
LIKE if you check your phone to see what time it is and then check it again because the first time you weren’t paying attention.
You might call it lazy ... I call it selective participation.
What if oxygen makes our voice really deep, and Helium just brings it back to normal?
awesome collection!
Moral compass? Is there an app for that?
Laughter is the best medicine, but if you are laughing for no reason, you might need medicine.
Kids teach you so many life lessons. Unconditional love, patience, the meaning of family, but mostly to lock the bedroom door.