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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

All I`m saying is one of us is right and the other one is you.
Don’t tell me what to do unless you’re naked.
Two girls riding their bikes on a cobble stone road. 1st girl: I never came this way before. 2nd girl: Me neither. It must be the cobble stones.
363 shopping days `til Christmas and some people already have their lights up.
Immature >>> A word boring people use to describe fun people..
Patience is not about how long you can wait, but how well you behave while waiting.
Is it wrong, to put people on your bucket list?
I’m always impressed when I can stump auto-correct...
Good morning to some...Hello to others...And f*uck you to the rest!!
After opening this month`s electric bill, I am no longer scared of the dark.
This is a lousy dating site.
Whenever I tell the cashier to β€˜keep the change`, it takes everything in my power not to call them a filthy animal.
Teacher:If I had 2 oranges in my left hand and 2 mangoes in my right hand, what would I have?? Student:Big hands!!
Nothing good ever came from drinking things that are on fire.
I went for a run tonight. Sure, it was a beer run but, I was still sweating by the end.