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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

"I don`t know what the f*ck this tastes like." - first person to eat chicken.
No I don`t think you`re stupid, I just think you have real bad luck when it comes to thinking
For every bad idea you have, I’m always there to tell you…I’m in.
Apparently slim chance and fat chance have the same meaning.
I`m bringing sexy back...if I only I can remember where I had it last....
Please don’t take anything I say personal or too seriously. I’m just an idiot with internet access.
The question isn’t who is going to let you; it’s who is going to stop you.
Not all country music is terrible. If you can get past the lyrics about trucks, mud, farms and cows... It`s actually not too bad.
Im 6`1", blue eyes, light brown hair, fit, own my own compa......oh crap, wrong website, sorry.
EVERY Friday is good in my book!
β€œwe should hang out soon” loosely translates to I’m doing everything in my power to end this stupid conversation.
Do watch out for elderly neighbours in the heat wave. They`re liable to trap you for hours and talk about the weather.
When reality kicks in… add more booze.
With my luck, I’ll die and get reincarnated as myself.
Yesterday I saw something that reminded me of you. I almost stepped in it!