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Refusing to go to the gym counts as resistance training, right?
Music is best when it’s louder than I can think.
Don`t be part of the problem. Be the ENTIRE problem.
"I’m not drunk!” is an argument only very drunk people think they can win
Of course morning sex is better. You haven`t spent the day annoying the crap out of each other yet.
The sucking moment when you wave to someone & they haven`t noticed you & all are watching you & you feel why you waved in the first place & still you run after the person to stop & say HI
Son: am I adopted? Me: not yet, but we`re hopeful.
Quick Hide! Monday is Coming!!
My stomach just growled so hard I thought I was getting a text message.
Never scratch your a$$ with chocolate on your fingers.
“The darndest things.” -kids
Pointing out the food you just dropped on the floor to your dog because you`re too lazy to clean it.
I don`t gamble. I don’t drink. My one vice is my iPhone. Well, that and lying about drinking and gambling.
The good thing about listening to a new song is that it doesn’t remind you of anyone.
My husband told me he needed more space ... So I locked him outside.