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You can learn a lot about a girl by ignoring her text messages.
“Nevermind.” Translation: You should’ve listened the first time.
Never sit down in front of the computer while having breakfast because when you get up it’ll be dinner time.
I`ve set my "life goals" to stuff I`ve already done so literally every day now I`m overachieving. It`s all about perspective.
I`ve decided I`m not going to focus on my past anymore. So, if I owe you money, I`m sorry.
Haters gonna hate, your honor
7,000 people were treated in emergency rooms for injuries sustained from fireworks. Don’t be a statistic, let your friend light the fuse
Am I the only one who thinks water has that taste that no one can describe?
This silly farmers market doesn`t have any locally grown pizza.
One day I shall rule the World! Until then, I`m going to bed
I can make your gf scream louder than you can. - Spider
I wish banks would do a better job of keeping their ATMs filled. This is the fourth one I`ve been to that is saying "Insufficient Funds."
I need to hire someone who will follow me around and just knock the unhealthy food out of my hand.
Emails from your boss assigning you work do not qualify as cyber bullying. I checked.
The point is... Is Imma hug you like a panda nd you`re gunna like it.!(: