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They say in the near future computers will become more intelligent than people, really, the near future? I walk down the street and see girls who struggle with the difference between orange and tanned, guys who have no idea how a belt works, and all of them with less language skills then the average trained chimp. Computers? Hell I’ve got an alarm clock that’s smarter than most of them right now.
Tomorrow the world shall be ours! Until then, good night my evil minions!!
Never take a laxative and a sleeping aid on the same night. dont ask me why.
There are over 10 different flavors of Ramen Noodles, yet they all taste like poverty and loneliness.
Do you ever wish you had a second chance to meet someone again for the first time?
The snooze button, because there’s nothing like starting your day off with a little procrastination.
Statistically, I`ve come to the conclusion that I`m going to hell in multiple religions.
My wife says I`m a clueless idiot ... I didn`t even know I had a wife.
If your phone gets wet, try putting it in a bag of dry rice. At night the rice will attract Asians who will fix your phone for you.
Would you like to save money on your car insurance? Walk ... Just sayin
That sound the Ketch-up make when you squeeze out the last drop, NEVER fails in making people laugh
I got up this morning and think I saw my shadow. I´m going back to bed for six weeks.
If Facebook has taught us anything, it`s that a lot of people are not quite ready for a Spelling Bee.
I was driving thru Farmville and I had to pee ... so I pulled over and fertilized your crops
believes saying "hi" with a big smile can brighten anyone´s day ... even those who give you the middle finger for cutting them off in traffic.