Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I spend most of my money on beer and cigarettes.. The rest I just waste.
Love is when the guy who stocks the liquor knows your name.
Since I`m getting older I`ve been thinking about my health. Should I work out 2 hrs a day like Jack Lalanne who was 96? Or smoke cigars like George Burns who lived to be 100?
It`s funny to watch all these people Bumping Up their own posts.
The Brain ? Forgets what I want to remember, Remembers what I want to forget.
You don’t have to be naked to have a good time, but it helps.
Be good to your nieces and nephews. One day you`ll need them to smuggle alcohol into your nursing home.
Holidays, hotels and women. Three things that always look better online than in real life.
My neighbors complained that I never mow my lawn. So I started mowing. The cops showed up at 3 a.m.. These neighbors are never happy...
Anyone know how to get a red wine stain off a baby? asking for a friend
I`m done with tucking in shirts. Too many people complaining I`m invading their "personal space." LOL
I think I speak for everyone here when I say "I haven`t the slightest idea as to where my life is headed"
I`m thinking one of us should probably break the news to the phone book makers that there`s this thing called Google now
A blind man walks into a bar....and a stool....and a table....
Why is it Donald Duck never wore pants but always had a towel wrapped around his waist when he got out of the shower?