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A world without women would be a pain in the a$$.
Wtf? I was always told to treat people the way I want to be treated.. Stupid sexual harassment charges pending.
Chaos, panic, & disorder – my work here is done.
When you drink Vodka over ice, it can give you kidney failure, When you drink Rum over ice, it can give you liver failure, When you drink Whiskey over ice, it can give you heart problems, When you drink Gin over ice, it can give you brain problems. Apparently, ice is really bad for you.
exactly how long is a cotton picking minute.
One time I was in a bar and there was this really weird guy pouring booze all over his hand. Turned out he was trying to get his date drunk
Marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your life.
You are not a "Food Blogger", you`re a "Fat a$$ with a laptop"
I eat a whole pizza before I go to the gym, because a good workout begins with low self-esteem.
I don’t appreciate the 5 minute radio ads about how commercial-free the station is.
When I see a hot girl walking by, I like to look at her and blink very fast and repeatedly so it looks like shes walking in slow motion. Everything is better in slow motion =)
Today I am thankful for my family....and this 5th of vodka that helps me deal with them.
What if your soulmate is over there on Twitter while you`re here on Facebook?
pens and pencils are drumsticks and desks and textbooks are drum kits. its a fact.
my husband of 10 years still goes mad when I use his toothbrush, if anyone knows a better way to get dog poo off shoes, im all ears