Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
When your life flashes before your eyes does that include the black outs? That`d be cool. Like your life but with never before seen footage.
I would call my fashion style: “clothes that still fit.”
I’ve been saving up my tickets for 27 years sir, and I would like to purchase this very chuck e cheese.
I removed my windshield wipers and now I don`t get parking tickets. Suck it meter maids!
Rappers seem to have an unhealthy interest in female dogs, don`t they?
When I drink alcohol.. everyone says I`m an alcoholic. But.. When I drink Fanta.. no one says I`m fantastic.
There are people in life you could NEVER get tired of hitting with a shovel!!!
When people introduce themselves to me for the first time, I tell them, “Yes, we’ve met before.” So they feel awkward trying to remember me.
You might be a REDNECK if you think S.T.O.P. means spin tires on pavement!! :)) lol
When you are arguing with an idiot, make sure the other person isn`t doing the same thing.
Uses for the plastic ruler..... 5% to draw stright lines 95 % to hit people.
I don`t care how old I am, if I go out to eat and there are crayons and paper placemats with puzzles... game on!
Did you know you can go to any gym without having to announce it on Facebook?
is sick and tired and tired of being sick and sick of being tired!
Some days it´s not worth chewing through the straps.