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It`s getting warm out. I can finally get back to smacking people and blaming it on mosquitos!
Ill be in my office giving co-workers the silent treatment ..by sending them blank emails.
Apparently, the answer "I Know" is not a good answer when your friend tells you how good his girlfriend is in bed
Top uses for Golf Balls: 1. Describing hail storms 2. Describing tumors 3. Playing golf
I bet if the movie "mirrors" releases part 3, the 1st victim will die while trying to take a selfie
why would you go outside? that`s where bugs live
the ulitmate moment is when your identical twin says your ugly
This donut scented car freshener will more than pay for itself next time I get pulled over.
Thanks for accepting my friend request on Facebook, even though is was solely so I could gain full access to your profile and judge your life choices.
You can always count on me to feel you up when you`re feeling down
Frozen water balloon fights... not a good idea.
You actually are not the stupidest person on the planet. But if he were to die...
So... Where does one obtain minions?
If you see a guy with no arms and your first thought is “My God how does he drink his beer??”, You might be an alcoholic.
just spilled alphabet soup on my keyboard. I`m so confused