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I spend too much money on food to afford any diet program...
It is totAlly unnecessary to put a PM after 23:00.
It`s been few days since I heard from the voices in my head, I think it`s the calm before the storm. Some big sh!t is gonna go down!!
Radio Shack has stayed in business with a name combining something no one buys anymore and a type of building no one wants to go into.
I take a large amount of pride in always being prepared for a nap.
If I`ve learned anything from Facebook, it`s that you shouldn`t be learning on Facebook.
I`m beginning to think that my destiny in life is just to be a bad example that other people can learn from.
Guys, how many times have you said "it looks great honey" when you really are just laughing inside?
Who named the walkie talkie and why isn`t the vacuum called the pushy sucky?
Siri, where are my pants?
75% of men kiss their wives good bye when leaving the house. 100% kiss their house good bye when leaving their wives.
I tried counting sheep to get to sleep, but one was missing and now Iām gonna be up all night worrying.
If you slept with my husband I`d be like "OMG how much do I owe you?"
All cookies are "bite size" if you believe in yourself enough.
People who weigh their produce. What`s it like to have all the time in the world?