Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
"I like tube tops too, but even tires have pressure limits!
Teleportation seems like an awesome idea until the creepy guy from down the street is suddenly washing your back in the shower.
Fun game: Borrow some tools from your neighbor and return them one by one covered in blood, until they move...
My will has a list of friends not allowed to speak at my funeral.
When the sign says: DO NOT TOUCH I read: Touch when nobody is looking.
I was in a bar when a girl called me a cheapskate. So I threw her drink in her face.
October is breast awareness month for women, men are usually aware of breasts all year round.
If you ever feel sad remember that there’s a number you can call and a pizza will be there in 30 minutes.
You look in good shape!!! Round is a shape isn`t it???
I`m starting to get that "f*ck it" attitude about everything..
I`m CDO. It`s like OCD but the letters are in alphabetical order. LIKE THEY SHOULD BE!!!
I just want you to be happy…and maybe a little bit naked.
Do the people inside mascot costumes also smile when they have their photos taken?
My ex-girlfriend said she broke up with me because I was childish and immature. I think it`s because she`s a big dumb stinky head that`s jealous of my awesome Transformers collection.
One thing the porn industry has taught me is that this summer I defiantly need to get a job as a poolboy.