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I`m sorry but sh!ts and giggles don`t sound like things I want to have happen at the same time.
There are many different ways one can save energy, but my favorite by far is this recliner.
Dear Equifax hackers, Please delete my student loan balance, my medical bills and change my credit score to 850. Thanks.
Life is what you make it = 10% Shit happens = 90%
The ultimate home security system is having crappy stuff.
I’m drinking while I work out…I call it Bacardio.
Save water. Shower with me. ;)
I look so young for my rage.
I`m at the facebook saloon, drinking all night long
I don`t trust stairs. They always look like they`re up to something.
The Internet: where no one is afraid to say the first thing that pops into their head.
Our brain took two billion years to evolve. Two billion trips around the Sun. All so humans can use it to look at kittens on the Internet.
They should make Vodka ChapStick
Having to cash in my State Quarter Collection`s map for gas money is reaching a new low.
If anybody in North America needs a napkin, hit me up. I should have enough in my car’s glovebox for each of you.