Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If you have a problem with me please write it nicely on a piece of paper, put it in an envelope, fold it and shove it up your a$$
This is a private status. Please don`t tell anyone about it.
7,000 people were treated in emergency rooms for injuries sustained from fireworks. Don’t be a statistic, let your friend light the fuse
If it looks like a pig and walks like a pig, do me a favor & tell my ex girlfriend I said hello.
Today`s Horoscope: You`re gullible.
You think you`re pretty smart until you have to figure out how to turn on someone elses shower.
They keep telling me theres plenty of fish in the sea, but I havent caught one in years, soooo I continue to sit here, holding my rod.
You know when I was younger I was under the impression that quick sand was going to be a serious issue in life...
My neighbors listen to some amazing music… whether they like it or not. ;)
10 Easy Steps to Learn Binary: 1) There are 1`s and 0`s 10) There are no 2`s
According to WebMD, MedicineNet, Healthline, Mayo Clinic, Symptom Checker, NetDoctor, MedlinePlus, Johns Hopkins and InfoMedNet, I`m OCD.
I hear you`ve been very naughty ... Go to my room!
The difference between pizza and your opinion is that I asked for pizza…
My last relationship was almost as complicated as the knot my pocket created with my headphones.
Went to Walmart yesterday and bought me a new toilet brush, I think I am gonna go back to using paper, it is much more gentle on the netherlands........