Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I hit a parked car today so naturally I left a note. It said "Die, Decepticons! Die!"
Radio Shack has stayed in business with a name combining something no one buys anymore and a type of building no one wants to go into.
Is "drunk" an emotion? Because if it is, I am feeling SUPER emotional right now...
I hate it when my fat makes me look fat.
You could completely eliminate the semicolon key and 90% of America wouldn`t notice... until they needed to wink at somebody.
The average power nap is 20 minutes. This works out well because I can fit 3 of them evenly into one hour.
Girls are a lot like oceans, beautiful and deep, but once a month, it`s shark week.
I have the means to do anything that I want on my day off from work which means that I dont want to do anything on my day off from work.
No thank you, I don`t need a coaster. I won`t be putting my drink down.
i hate that the sun comes up so early
Hi I was calling about the $300/hour part time job I read about in a sexy ad I saw on an illegal torrent site. Are you guys still hiring?
I should be ashamed of myself. Lets be clear, I`m not. But I should be.
I have a confession to make... "I want to get back with my ex"...LOL Just Kidding..."I`d rather shit in my hands and clap !"
What kind of downward spiral would cause a person to "like" cream cheese on Facebook?
Today, 2 year olds can unlock an iphone, open and close their favorite apps. All by themselves. When I was that age, I was eating silly putty.