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Woke up with morning wood but she wouldn`t!
The larger the implants, the more likely she’ll be confused by a push/pull door.
If I saw a ghost, I would not be scared. I`d be like "Sit your translucent a$$ down, I have a lot of questions!"
Why is maple syrup so expensive?.. It grows on trees doesn`t it?
You just don’t see enough people being taken away in straight jackets anymore.
Raise the bar..? Like go and drink upstairs..?
I do marathons ... on Netflix.
A procrastinator`s work is never done...
Why is it that flies can get in your car so easy, but can`t figure out how to escape with all the windows down.
You know when you`re exercising and feel like you could keep going and going? That`s happened to me, only with beer.
For those of you who know nothing about pleasing a woman... the G spot is located at the end of the word "shopping".....js
A newly wed guy asked me about marriage. I told him it`s sort of like a museum. You have to be quiet and you can`t really touch anything.
Social Media: Because I like to socialize with cool people without having to speak, wear pants or get off the couch.
Being a parent means often saying your child is shy rather than "he sees how creepy u are, that`s why he doesn`t want to shake your hand".
One thing the porn industry has taught me is that this summer I defiantly need to get a job as a poolboy.