Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If you just got invited to do something on New Year`s Eve, it means someone else cancelled.
I can`t understand why women are okay that JCPenney has an older women`s clothing line named, "Sag Harbor."
Shout out to all the kids who could never find their name on souvenir keychains and license plates. That sh!t hurt.
To me, suicide seems selfish. For all I know, someone else might want to kill me
When I bust a move , it stays busted.
I gave up on humanity when I picked up this girl`s phone and saw that my number was saved as Free Food.
*Learns sign language to keep arguing with boyfriend while giving the silent treatment*
Show him you care by setting his house on fire so he will have to move in with you and never be lonely again.
I`m just gonna let my pillow decide my hairstyle for tomorrow.
Fun Fact: Vegetarians live up to nine years longer than meat-eaters. Nine horrible, tedious, meaningless, worthless, meatless years.
I could write an entire book on excuses,,, but I have to pick my grandma up at the airport.
The well behaved rarely make history.
You posted a drunk selfie last night at 2:04 AM and then deleted it five minutes later. But I took a screenshot. Let`s negotiate.
I like when people call me "Sir". I just wish they wouldn`t follow it up with "you`re making a scene."
You might call it lazy ... I call it selective participation.