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Ladies, not every guy who talks to you wants to bang you. Some of us know that you have booze and snacks in your purse.
I like work. It fascinates me. I sit and look at it for hours.
Next time you over hear a stranger giving out their number. Text them details of what they are wearing. It`s so fun to watch them freak out!
My therapist said that I needed to find healthier ways of expressing my anger. So I decided to jog home after setting fire to my ex`s car.
Sometimes I stand in front of the mirror naked just to remind myself what nobody`s getting.
I am totally lacking the "zippity" part of my "do dah day."
looong and hard, yep thats my pencil.
Coworker drank the last of the coffee and now he`s going to the clinic for a `work related` injury.
Takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do ...
You’re really not as bad as people say. You’re much, much worse.
Driving to work would be so much better if I didn’t always end up at work.
Sometimes you have to flip out and go bat sh!t crazy to make a point.
I just blew all my party money on bills again
I may be stupid but im also dumb! :D
The greatest fear is NOT fear itself. It’s dropping your phone in a port-a-potty!