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My salad pic. got more likes than your selfie.
Whoever has my voodoo doll, please scratch between my butt cheeks..I`m in public.
Today, A 12 year-old came up to me and said "May I please have a cigarette?". I can`t believe kids this age are already so polite.
How to break up with someone: You: Your ex is attractive. Partner: Which one? You: ME. You: BYEEEE
My life coach is the cashier at the liquor store.
Like medicine, some people should only be allowed to talk in doses. Like 30 sentences three times a day.
How do I tell a man he loves me?
If the world dosen`t end on the 21st, I sure do have a lot of MREs to gift wrap.
I`m tired of things costing money
This is my first status of 2017. Yeah, I thought it would be better too.
Would an obsession with the imperial measurement system be considered a foot fetish?
My name is Fred and I`m a survivor. If you are out there..if anyone is out there. I can provide food/shelter..Anybody please....U are not alone....
I feel like landlords who don’t allow dogs but DO allow children don’t know very much about children.
Marry someone who can cook. Love fades, hunger doesn`t.
The problem with drinking with people from work is they`re the ones I bitch about when I`m drunk.