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These ramen noodles taste like payday is next Friday.
Honk if you are reading this.
"The Ugly Duckling" has a great message. Everything in life will work itself out once you become physically attractive.
Fun Fact: Even though they call it a "man hole", you can shove women and children down it just fine.
It`s hard to compliment a fake person without lying.
When someone says I love you over the phone and you don`t feel the same, just say `I love youtube` but say it really fast!
Just heard about this teacher who had sex with her student. Another reason I won`t send my dog to obedience school
Life is tough. Put on your big girl panties and deal with it like the rest of us.
Haircuts are great because I did none of the work but get all of the credit.
You don’t truly know someone until you see how they react to their bag of chips getting stuck in a vending machine.
I just watched my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes and thought, "Wow, dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized I just watched my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes.
Don`t have sex man, it leads to kissing and pretty soon you will have to start talking to her..
The sad part about seeing any shopper at Walmart with a blue tooth, is that normally it is that shopper`s only tooth.
What do horses eat? Hay. What do gay horses eat? Haaaayyyy!
roses are red.... my name is dave...this poem makes no sense.... microwave...