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Never judge a man ’till you’ve driven a mile with his wife.
In my head I sound like the Queen of England bitches!
To all those who received a book from me as a Christmas present....They are due back at the library today.
How to create a weight-loss program: (1) Take a before picture. (2) Eat like a pig. (3) Take an after picture. (4) Switch the pictures.
So much to say. So not drunk enough to say it.
This is the third time someone in Liam Neeson`s family has been abducted, they really need to stop leaving the house.
The dentist told me I need to be more aggressive when I floss so I`ve decided to start growling.
Well I didn`t know that minding my own business becomes part of your business to mind
Why is this dude chatting with Jake from State Farm at three in the morning anyhow?
screw flowers, its all about chia pets ;)
Tomorrow is Valentines day, a holiday that comes along once a year to remind you that if you don`t have a special someone...I guess your alone.
Lower your expectations and I will totally amaze you.
Girls, dont read this please: Hey guys, isn`t it funny how our wives/or girlfirends really think that we care what they did that day? lol.....it never gets old.
As far as Im concerned, you are not my concern.
I love the gym this time of year. The newbies make me look like a Victoria Secret model.