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Huge spoiler here ... Did you know Dave is actually NOT the real father of Alvin, Simon, and Theodore.
Do you really know me or am I just an idea that you`ve built in your head?
Video games don`t encourage violence nearly as much as piñatas do.
I can`t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest.
Facebook is serious. I put more thought into whether or not to accept a friend request than whether or not to sleep with someone.
I get a little nervous before saying Worcestershire sauce.
Nobody notices your pain, your happiness, your sadness, your state of mind. But everyone notices it when you fart in public
Sex is like pizza, if you`re going to use bbq sauce you better know what the f*ck you`re doing
IMPORTANT REMINDER: Sunday is Mother`s Day, which means Facebook is gonna be annoying as crap...
I don`t go crazy. I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time.
The best curve on a woman is her smile :) ...Hahahaha lmao! No I`m kidding, it`s her boobs.
Sometimes, even I`m afraid of the things my mind comes up with.
I always assume anyone sitting alone in a car in the dark corner of a grocery store parking lot is waiting to meet a hitman who is running late.
My ID expired so I can only go to the liquor store where they remember me: The one where I asked the cashier out and threw up on the floor.
Just been watching Ladies Beach volleyball and there`s already been a wrist injury...but I should be ok in a couple days.