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common sense is like deodrant. the people who need it thr most never use it.
I read an actual newspaper today! For those of you who don`t understand, a newspaper is like the Internet but made of paper.
Hey, if it doesn`t work out, we can still be friends. Said no guy ever
screw flowers, its all about chia pets ;)
My gf thinks I cook our meals cause I love her. Really, it`s cause I`m afraid she might try to poison me.
There`s both a McDonald`s and a blood pressure machine at our Walmart. Circle of life.
I`m getting sick of these porn sites listing my videos as "amateur".
My bed is way more comfortable in the mornings than during the night.
If I owned a copy store I would only hire identical twins.
Sorry I said "Better you than me" when you showed me your baby.
I swear I saw a guy earlier today that had no chin and all I could think about was, how does he put on pillow cases?
Like a good neighbor, strip clubs are there
NASA has confirmed that December 21, late afternoon, the sky will be very dark. It is an interesting phenomenon called "night".
If I get a million likes on Facebook......not a damn thing will change.
Keep your friends close and your unattractive enemies closer so you look better by comparison in pictures.