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I was about to read the story below. But it was too long.
I used to wonder what it was like to read people’s minds. Then I got a Facebook account and I got over it.
McDonald’s Management Rule #23: “The employee with the most severe accent or speech impediment must work the drive-thru at all times.”
The iPhone 6 looks pretty cool, but it still lets people leave voicemails, so they apparently haven`t worked out all the bugs yet.
We Should Have A Way Of Telling People Their Breath Stinks Without Hurting Their Feelings. Like: "I`m bored, let`s go brush our teeth"
If you aren`t sure if you like someone, here`s a test: imagine they`re dead. Now, was it an accident or did you murder them?
A cross-eyed teacher has no control over her pupils
Part of me wants to help you with your crisis, but part of me wants to go to happy hour.
I don`t think we appreciate this era enough. For instance, none of us will see old photos of our moms whoring it up on Instagram.
It`s amazing the things I can remember when I don`t need to remember anything.
I want to meet the guy at Hewlett Packard who decides how many minutes of strange noises their printers make before printing 1 page.
I’ve found that I can usually judge how hot a woman is by how many times my girlfriend calls her a whore.
I don`t own a thesaurus, is `cock meat` a synonym for `fried chicken`?
Just saw a coyote next to the highway... I hope this tunnel ahead isn`t just painted on.
If Milli Vanilli were to fall in the woods, would someone else make a sound?