Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My New Year`s resolution is to spend more time wishing my enemies were dead.
On my tombstone I want it to say: ‘I didn’t forward the text message to 15 friends.” ;)
When I see people jogging outside I like to drive slowly down the road behind them blasting “Eye of the Tiger” just to give them motivation.
Woah.. the room is spinning.. I knew the world revolved around me.. ;)
I`m glad I learned about parallelograms instead of how to do taxes. It`s really come in handy this parallelogram season.
Shopping for bridesmaid dresses with 5 other women, today. If you never hear from me again, I committed suicide by nail file.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said bet you can`t hit me with a quarter!
This Kit Kat commercial is making some awfully big assumptions about both my generosity and my number of friends.
Ebay is really getting worse and worse to use. Yesterday I searched for a cigarette lighter. I got 3,974, 601 matches...
Don`t feel bad, alot of people don`t have talent either
My favorite sex position is, "don`t tell anyone we did this".
With the right music, you either forget everything or you remember everything.
I like to say my kid handles funds for a multi-billion dollar corporation. It`s easier than saying he is a cashier at McDonald`s
Wouldn’t it be a smart idea? To make the sticky part on envelopes taste like chocolate?
I Just bought a Ken doll. I don`t know what everyone`s talking about, you can`t read books on this thing