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So I´ve narrowed it down and I´m either gonna start a motorcycle gang or take a nap.
I don`t just sing in my shower, I perform.
It`s weird how Dora is multilingual at 4 but can`t find the banana tree behind her...
So I didn`t want to wake up this morning and go to work. It`s not that I don`t like my job, it`s just that I like being lazy more.
It`s tough being a people person when you can`t stand most people.
I can tell you nice things but they`ll all be about me.
You don’t have to be naked to have a good time, but it helps.
In terms of procrastination, I`ve had a very productive day.
When Life rains on your parade, get out the Slip-n-Slide.
According to customer service I can not bring sexy back... Without the receipt, apparently.
Nobody looks back on their life and remembers the nights they had plenty of sleep.
If I was famous I would just knock on peoples doors and be like ... Hello, yes it`s me.
Don´t you just hate it when people say stuff in their status that you really didn´t want to know? I hate that. Anyway, I gotta go poop.
I have a "honk if you think I`m sexy" bumper sticker on my truck so that way on the way to work, if I`m not feeling to excited to be there, I sit at a green light until I feel better.
Sorry I drunk dialed you at 10am.