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that awkward moment when you`re scuba diving and you see Adele rolling in the deep.
There is nothing more annoying than a couple who just got back from vacation.
In my head I sound like the Queen of England bitches!
I love to start my day by getting on Facebook to see who is a whiny little bi!ch today.
Always wonder why do people even bother making good quality pinatas?
About 110,000 people contract chlamydia each month, more than signed up for Obamacare. Obamacare is less popular than chlamydia.
It takes a lot of courage for a man to admit his wife is wrong...
I bought a Tempurpedic mattress just so that I’d have an excuse to go to sleep with a giant glass of wine every night.
It`s so nice to come home and relax with Facebook after a long day at the office being on Facebook.
There is a piece of aluminum foil blowing across the road and all I can think is that one of you is without your protective headgear today.
I don`t always get to drink free beer... But I just happen to know my neighbor went to the night shift, and I saw him filling his fridge today.
I was told that I had an alcohol problem, but I think me and Captain Morgan have it figured out..
I`m old enough to remember when apparently the worst thing life could hand you was lemons.
There’s nothing like having a long to-do list to make me feel like doing absolutely nothing.
You`ll all be sorry when I figure out how to breathe fire.