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Falling in love is lot like dying, you never get to do it enough to become good at it.
I am trying my very best to get into the holiday spirit but I cant open the damn bottle.
Surly not EVERYBODY was Kung-Foo fighting?
Judge me if you will, just keep the verdict to yourself.
I don`t know, guys. The whole "play dead when a bear attacks" thing sounds suspiciously like something the bears would come up with...
This generation is guilty of making the wrong people rich and famous.
Ever wonder why divorces are expensive? Because they are worth it!
One advantage of growing old is you don`t have to worry about hackers stealing your nude pics out of the cloud.
Wife: give me money I want to buy a bra. Husband: you`ve got nothing to put in them. Wife: you wear shorts
Fruit cocktail is the most disappointing of all the cocktails.
Is it annoying when people answer their own questions? Yes it is. Do I wish they would stop? Absolutely.
Nothing like working out to make you feel like you deserve that burger and fries.
While wearing a bikini you show 90% of your body -But men are so polite, that they stare only at the covered places.
Nothing is impossible.. Never Give Up.. I know a guy that once actually guessed correctly why his girlfriend was mad at him.. :|
I do what I want, when I want, where I want.. if my mom says its ok. :)