Daily Silly Status

Some men get naked when they have to count up to 21...

My neighbor`s are going out of town for the weekend so I finally have the house to myself.

When my boss is in town, I set out pictures of kids on my desk. They aren`t my kids but he`d never fire a Mom of seven, right?

Relieved to finally get a new microchipped debit card that provides added security to protect the $13.68 in my checking account.

I went to McDonald`s to grab my boys a couple of Happy meals. The guy serving me says "Would you like a Boy Toy"? I was like, "listen hear you little sh!t, you couldn`t handle me if you tried"!! What is this world coming too... :))

I`ve been hiding from exercise. I`m in the fitness protection program.

Friend told me that on her strict new diet, she eats each meal naked in front of a mirror. I said would you like to come over for dinner?

There’s nothing better than when someone you know walks by without recognizing you.

If by self-help you mean helping myself to all the liquor in your cabinet... Then yeah... I`m about as self-helpful as they come.

I was blown away when I realised the word " OK " is a side ways person.

I don`t have a drinking problem, you have a problem with my drinking. Big difference.

Do me a favor if someone tells you they don`t like me , tell them I don`t like them either.

Cats would be even more stuck up if they knew how much the internet loves them.

I always wear a wedding ring when I go grocery shopping, so everyone thinks my cart full of groceries are for a family of 4 instead of just me

I saw my ex getting beaten up by half a dozen thugs. For a second, I thought, "Should I help?" Then I thought, "No...6 should be enough."