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If you think my post are bad, you should see my choice in men.
Today is International Women’s Day. It was actually supposed to be held 2 days ago but they took too long to get ready.
It`s a beautiful Spring day to get outside and stare at your phone.
My Viagra addiction was the hardest time of my life.
Tomorrow, I`m going to open up the time capsule I buried when I was a kid. I can`t wait to see how big my puppy got!
Why isn’t our beer color coordinated for all holiday occasions, instead of just St. Patricks Day?
You`ve got to love yourself. But not in public places.
First thing I do in the morning: Look at the clock and hope I have more time to sleep.
Please ignore this status, I am standing alone and I don`t want to seem like a total loner, so I am making it look like I am texting
I dont think I could ever stab someone.. I barely can get the straw into a Capri Sun.
Im convinced that one day we will all live in the future.
Every time I almost think humanity will be okay, I see someone struggle with the self-checkout for 20 minutes.
Good mothers let you lick the beaters when they`re making a cake. Great mothers turn the mixer off first.
My girlfriend told me she wanted me to surprise her with a gift that will take her breath away. I’m thinking about getting her a treadmill.
Hi, you`ve reached my voicemail. Why are you doing this?