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How did human beings express empathy before the phrase "that sucks" was coined?
All guys should learn from Mario Bros. No matter how far their princess is, they should go after her.
I can still remember a time when I knew more than my phone
Just ONCE, I`d like to look deep into your beautiful eyes, and make hot sweet love with you without some pop-up window ruining the mood.
Today I learned not all people are appreciative of vetriloquism. Especially my gynecologist.
I don`t care about your choice in politics, religion, or taste in music... I judge you simply based on football team preference
I have a tremendous sex drive ... My girlfriend lives 25 miles away.
I got kicked out of the public swimming pool today. Apparently the `Breast Stroke` wasn`t what I thought it was.
If heat makes things expand, then I don`t have a weight problem ... I am just Hot!
This is 2016. How come I can`t email someone a fart when I feel like it?
There is always light at the end of the tunnel. It might be a train or a truck so dont let it hit you.
I call it a Cupcake Salad. And I don`t see how it`s any of your business.
Offering a hobo $5 from across the street is my version of Frogger.
There`s a time and a place for non-alcoholic beer. Never, and down the drain.
No cowboy in the world can out draw a grandmother pulling a baby picture out of her wallet.