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People assume when I yawn that I`ve lost interest in what they have to say but truth be told, I was never interested.
Nothing says "My life isn`t going exactly as I planned" quite like being at Wal Mart at 1am.
You may think I`m dumb but you overestimate me.
A recent survey of one person revealed that 100% of me thinks that I should leave work early.
Friends are like snowflakes.... if you pee on them they disappear.
For Sale. Old batteries, free of charge.
Its all sh!ts and giggles until someone giggles and sh!ts
Hey dumb a$$. Not everything I post pertains to you. Just the stuff that starts with Hey dumb a$$.
When wearing a logo or clever t-shirt, make sure your rack looks good. No one likes reading stuff on a lumpy, wavy surface. You too, ladies.
I`m the kind of friend who will help you hide a dead body, but if you betray me, just remember: I know how to hide a dead body.
I wouldn`t pay for a personal trainer, but I would pay someone to just knock unhealthy food out of my hands.
My brain contains a few things I should know and the rest is just song lyrics.
I wish I loved anything as much as rappers love female dogs and gardening tools
Who’s that sexy beast…………..oh I clicked on my own profile again. ;)
I hate it when I mentally undressing someone and my OCD kicks in and I start folding their clothes.