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So, basically Alexa is just some know-it-all with no actual job skills.
I`ve been starting my diet tomorrow for the last 20 years.
I`ve eaten enough chinese food in my day that my fortune cookies have started to contradict one another
I once found a whip, a mask, a baton and handcuffs in my Mother-in-Law`s draw... who knew she was a superhero. Nice!!!
Saw a post stating "taking it one day at a time," so I responded "me too. That`s how days work."
I’m sick of closing out every job interview with “I was young. I needed the money.”
If ignorance is bliss. You must be the happiest person on this planet.
If you don`t think of 50 different ways to murder your boss every morning on your drive to work you`re probably the boss
I`m not sure what my credit score is but I`m pretty sure I`m losing.
Just think of me as the guy next door. With a telescope.
Any guy can seem cool on a motorcycle. If you really want to know what kind of man you`ve got, watch him walk through a spider web.
Ahh..Monday, so we meet again ... You dirty bitch!!
Horoscopes: When you don’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend to blame for your failures, try the solar system
I just quit my job at the helium bottling plant. I refuse to be spoken to in that tone!
What doesn`t kill you, will hopefully try again