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I wonder what “don’t touch” is in Braille....
Burger King is offering delivery service in some areas. I don’t trust it. Everyone knows it’s impossible to drive without eating the fries.
Of course it`s you....there`s no f*cking way it`s me.
some people just need a hug...around the neck...with a rope!!
How did the person who invented the first clock know what time it was?
Waking up is the second hardest thing in the morning.
Calling someone a drama queen is so negative. Why not "content creator"?
I wonder if they let me grow cannabis on Farmville, I`ll be able to sell it on Mafia Wars?
It`s a good idea to test your immune system from time to time by eating a gas station hot dog
Once a month, women go completely crazy for about thirty days.
I`m gonna name my son Wussell so people think he has a speech impediment.
I`m flattered that you took time out from your lack of a life to judge mine.
I`m not anti-social I`m just pro leave me the f*ck alone.
I see you’re playing stupid. Looks like you’re winning too.
Its weird how your entire day flashes before your eyes the moment you realize that your zipper has been down and you haven`t pissed in 8 hrs