Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I believe in karma that means I can do bad things to people I don’t like and assume they deserved it.
So no pizza place on Ninja Turtles ever questioned the delivery address being β€œThe Sewer”
Your day sucked, huh? I`m sure Facebook would love to hear about it.
A recent survey of one person reveals that 100% of me thinks I should leave work early.
I ordered some bubble wrap online. It arrived in a box surrounded by packing peanuts.
How come there are never any restrooms in my dreams
I just watched my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes and thought, "Wow, dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized I just watched my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes.
My kid threatened to hold her breath until I gave her dessert. She`s now passed out on the kitchen floor. I don`t negotiate with terrorists!!
I wanted to book an Elvis impersonator for a party so I phoned them up and got a call centre. It said `press 1 for the money, 2 for the show.`
And remember friends, condoms aren`t always protective....my friend was wearing one and he fell down the stairs
Doctor told me to lose some weight, and suggested walking.So no more drive through taco bell. Now I park 5 spaces away and walk in
Relationships would be easier if people came with a "Clear History" button.
Wesley Snipes was released from prison this week. Now he can finally begin filming "Blade 4: Twilight."
2015 and I still can`t believe it`s not butter!
Just backed into a Jaguar but I left him a note on my bank statement so he knows not to bother calling