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Life is like chocolate...sometimes you gotta deal with nuts.
Maybe teenagers just aren`t strong enough yet to remove the sticker from their hat
Have you ever tried blind-folded archery? You don`t know what you`re missing.
Click Like, if you hate being told what to do.
Adding "just sayin" to a smart-a$$ed comment makes you even more of an a$$hole. Just sayin
I like to go to the bar and flip peoples license plates upside down, then go home and listen to my scanner.
This oatmeal tastes like I`m gonna need a doughnut.
Frankly auto correct,I`m getting tired of your shirt.
Announcement: .. the Time Travelers Meeting scheduled for today will be held last Thursday
Ahhh, the 4th of July. The day where trips to hospital start with the words "Hold my beer and watch this!"
When I get in an elevator, before I press a button I look at everyone inside and say “Are you ready to take this sh!t to a whole new level?”
When I was a kid, there was no Internet. Sometimes people would walk for miles to call me a bastard.
For the past 3 years I have been planning to write an article on Procrastination!!!
I say No to drugs but they... won`t listen.
“I’m going to be a little bit late” -people that are going to be very late