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Some people are normal. What an awful, boring existence that must be.
This salad is delicious, probably because it`s a donut.
Accidentally used AOL.com, I betting the employees there are celebrating and think they have a sure future.
What doesn`t kill you makes you stronger. Except for bears. Bears will kill you.
Why isn`t there a reality show called "Security Cams of Walmart?"
Republicans are red, Democrats are blue. The government is shut down cause neither one gives a damn about you.
I’m a pervert, but in a romantic way.
More celebrities should donate blood. I mean, imagine having the blood of Will Smith running through your veins.
Why don`t strip clubs do Black Friday? It would be the one place I would camp out to go in.
If you try to pronounce “lmao” you sound like a french cat.
Sometimes, I`m offended at how easily offended some people get.
Girl: What color are my eyes? Guy: 34D.
I was voted `Most Paranoid` by my classmates at school. Although they never admitted it.
"YOU WANNA TAKE THIS OUTSIDE!?" I yell to my husband as I hand him the trash.
Sometimes, my greatest accomplishment is just keeping my mouth shut.