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Women, if you want to strike a bit of fear into your man, just smile really big and ask him, "Notice anything different?"
The Bible is pretty accurate...Especially when thrown at close range.
Debt doesn`t buy happiness either.
You left a note on the fridge saying "This isn`t working. Goodbye" but I opened it and it was working perfectly well. I don`t get it.
If you listen real closely to my kids arguing tonight, you`ll hear the sound of me pouring a glass of wine.
Why can’t they make the whole week out of Saturdays?
Nothing tests that whole "for better or worse" thing like the question "does this look infected?"
Just...sitting...thinking...planning my next move to get that new roll of toilet paper about 5 feet away from me.
I don’t understand why I cant lose weight. I thought dieting was a piece of cake.
"Safely remove USB." Who does that?
If "The Breakfast Club" was made today, it would be a silent film about five kids staring at their phone
It`s Sunday or as I like to call it, "No pants day".
There are days when everything goes perfectly. . I wonder what those are like?
There is no time to check time
Robots can do anything we set their mind to