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You wouldn`t believe all the cool stuff I find when I`m under my bed playing.
you need a license to drive, but anyone can have a kid.
May you never be as bored as whoever figured out that holding a seashell to your ear sounds like the ocean
Every woman is beautiful in her own unique way. Sometimes it just takes the right amount of alcohol to see it.
Im at a beer tasting today..so far they all taste the same out of this case...well done Budweiser...well done!!
Lots of us suffer in silence. You should try it.
Iām not a biologist but Iām pretty sure the difference between a moth and a butterfly is that a moth is really ugly.
Why do hospitals need to advertise? It`s not like I`m going to go to Home Depot instead.
Let me be honest, I dont even walk a mile in my own shoes.
I wish they made bar-stools with seat belts and dual side airbags.
Amazing how many people just stroll into tattoo parlors and say "Give me the dumbest thing you can think of."
If you have just started playing flappy bird I would like to warn you there is nothing up ahead but more dangling pipes and disappointment
Sometimes it takes me a full 8 hours to get nothing done.
Sometimes i wish i was an octopus, so i can slap eight people @ once!
"I trust my boyfriend, I would never go thru his phone" -girls who can`t figure out boyfriend`s passwords