Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My girlfriend says I talk while I sleep... but I`m skeptical. Nobody at work has ever mentioned it.
It must be really hard to judge a wet t-shirt contest because I saw one recently and all the t-shirts looked equally wet.
I just noticed me saying "LOL" everytime I`m laughing = facebook addict...lmao :)
Hey parents with teenagers, the bottle of vodka in your liquor cabinet is water.
I won`t be impressed with technology until I can download food.
"You go girl" - asking my girlfriend to move out, but sassy like
Fun Fact: For the cost of a dozen red roses, you could also get a dozen beers and a dozen wings at happy hour. Prob even pay for parking too
Royal baby was born at 8 pounds. Thats like 12 dollars.
Fun thing to do: Before leaving someone`s house, ask them if you can take a roll of toilet paper "to go"
Shout out to all the ladies at church today in the same clothes from the club last night.
Horoscope: Slightly fatter than you were yesterday
I don’t want to think I’m getting old or anything, but all the noises I used to make during sex, I now make getting out of bed.
After lengthy reflection, I’ve concluded that having kids wasn’t worth the seven times my son took out the garbage for me.
Why be part of the problem when you can be all of it?
Ever wonder if we`re just a reality TV show for a more intelligent species?