Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Word on the street is... Lol. Jk. I don`t go outside.
Coffee is nature’s way of saying “Go ahead, get drunk on a weeknight, I got your back!”
My car broke down outside a massage parlor on today ... And again tomorrow.
With Halo 4, Black Ops II and Assasins Creed III, I think November might register the lowest teen pregnancy rates in a long time!
Sarcasm: just one of the many services I offer ;)
You say I’m dirty minded, but how did you understand what I meant?
I used to think i was good at multi-tasking. Turns out its just my multiple personalities doing one task at a time.
Haters gunna hate,potatoes gunna patate!!
I`m convinced that homeless people have all the shopping carts with 4 good wheels.
If you want to keep a secret from me, put it inside a Facebook event invitation.
I made a huge TO DO list for this weekend. I just can’t figure out who’s going to do it.
Alcohol doesn`t get people drunk, people get people drunk. Drunk people get other drunk people extra drunk.
My advise to all the young people out there, "Do not grow up; it`s a trap!!"
You know you are getting old when a bunch of annoying teenagers get murdered in a horror movie and you relate more with the killer.
Don`t tell me to make myself at home if you don`t want me to drop my pants and download porn on your computer.