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people live & people die, but in the the end we still get high.. so if in life you dont succeed, F*CK it All & smoke some WEED ?
I don`t like the term "stalker". I prefer "unpaid private investigator".
I wonder if the Happy Birthday wishes I send out to my Facebook friends would mean the same to them if they knew that I was sitting on the toilet.... LOL
I bet now a lot of doctors are going to be reluctant to respond to “Is there a doctor on the plane?”
If I`ve learned anything from Facebook, it`s that you shouldn`t be learning on Facebook.
Thanks for calling me to tell me you just sent that email
I don`t get why people find drunk text annoying
A lot of attractive people are like nice cars with the check engine light on.
I can’t find the words to express how I have nothing to say
I just got a piece of mail that says "open immediately" but I`m gonna wait a few minutes.
Screw it, just add another blade." -Gillette marketing concepts.
I do everything faster when I have to pee.
10 times out of 9, you’ll find me exaggerating about something
The club sandwich, for when a knuckle sandwich just isn`t enough...
The boss keeps talking about a company 401k … I don’t think I can run that far!