Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If you look in the mirror and say "Taylor Swift" three times, she magically appears then breaks up with you. What do u know next? You`re a song!
Went to the bookstore to pick up a "Where`s Waldo" book today, but couldn`t find any. Well played Waldo, well played...
Immature >>> A word boring people use to describe fun people..
I`m pretty sure if someone broke into my house, my dog would just show them how much he likes to lick his balls
Pretty sure autocorrect and Siri talk shit about me behind my back.
Somehow, going into The Dollar Store and asking for a price check just never gets old.
Men think they have it bad, but they`re not the ones having to hold their boobs when they run.
Hot singles in your area are dating each other while you sit alone staring at your phone.
My hearing is fine. There`s no need to repeat yourself! I ignored you perfectly well the first time.
Every member of my family is polite & courteous which I why our pantry has 17 boxes of cookies that contain exactly one remaining cookie
When your running down the street on fire, people will get out of your way
Don`t get into a relationship with someone unless they love you as much as Kim Kardashian loves Kim Kardashian.
If you want to pick up girls ....Keep your back straight and lift with your knees.
i hate that the sun comes up so early
If you love something, feed it so much that it get’s too fat for anyone else to want.