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LIFE TIP: The early worm gets dismembered, and eaten alive!
"This is bullsh!t" - bull farmer giving barn tours
A penny for your thoughts. Five bucks if they`re dirty.
My husband told me that he would leave me if I didn`t give up all my bad habbits.....I nearly choked on my toe nail!
I’m working on my resume. Should I use the term “mad skillz” or would “mad skills” be more formal?
It deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer are in the rghit pcale. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a pobelrm. Tihs is buseace the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Tihs wulod not be psibsole if yuor sutipd. I hpoe for yuor skae you wree albe to raed tihs or taht maens yuor an idoit or barin dmagaed.
My favorite part about your rant on how much you hate social media sites was when you posted it from a social media site.
Reason number 347 why I hate Facebook: A guy from high school posted 11 new photos all with the caption "me"
"Do you have a charger?" is the new "Could I bum a cigarette?"
Recent survey asked people in the U.S if there are too many immigrants: 17% said yes, 83% said Lo siento, no hablan Inglés
Why is it so hard to find an exercise bike with a nice little basket where I can put my nachos?
The one thing you can always count on is your fingers.
I hope this coffee gives me the energy to look busy all day.
How dare the NFL build walls to keep fans that haven`t paid for a ticket from entering the game!
Immature: A word boring people use to describe fun people.