Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m old enough to remember when cell phones actually got smaller every year.
A kleptomaniac in a bakery really takes the cake
I find it most unfair that the dentist in this neighborhood hands out toothbrushes for Halloween but the pharmacist doesn`t hand out drugs.
My most frequent walk of shame is from one bathroom to the other with the plunger
If you ask me, every Friday is a Good Friday.
The iPad Air is named after what`s left in your bank account when you buy one.
I f*cking hate you. Hope that clears things up.
It`s amazing how we are very good lawyers for our own mistakes and very good Judges for other people`s mistakes.
Don`t judge. Maybe I`m conducting a study of the effects of prolonged laziness on a human body. You don`t know.
You`d be surprised at how many times I`ve gone home, when i hear someone tell me "Go hard or Go home".
I just bought Velcro shoes.... What a rip off!
When you can no long help someone, I can - said the coroner.
You never know what you have until..... you clean your room
I danced like no one was watching but someone was watching, thought I was having a seizure and called an ambulance
If people who shop at Walmart, “Save Money. Live Better.” Exactly how bad were these people living BEFORE Walmart?