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If you need help moving I am one hundred percent there for you emotionally.
You know you`re single when the only calls you get at night are Nature`s.
The only Plato I care about is a big Plato spaghetti
Why does the girl in the Wendy`s commercials have Ronald McDonalds hair?
We always say that our elders are wise, because of their years of experience. But you know what? ... Stupid people get old too.
The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself"...and spiders. Oh, and ticks and nuclear war and getting laid off and losing your eye sight and...
Please, lord, let me prove that winning the lottery won`t spoil me!
I like to fill my medicine cabinet with marbles before I invite people over.
never tell a lie...unless it is true
Absolutely is my favourite nothing to do...
Somewhere in a parallel universe, I hope there’s a giant dog with a tiny woman in its purse.
The problem with coffee is trying to make it when you haven`t had any yet.
I dont think I could ever stab someone.. I barely can get the straw into a Capri Sun.
How I sing it: "A, B, C, D, E, F, G,....H, I, J, K, A LEMON OH PEE!....Q, R, S....T, U, V....W, X....Y, and Z."
If you have a problem with me please write it nicely on a piece of paper, put it in an envelope, fold it and shove it up your a$$.