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I`m proud of anyone who has quit doing drugs and alcohol, I don`t want to hang out with you now but I`m still proud...
Weather forecast for tonight: dark
I wish I could talk to donkeys so I could be known as the ass whisperer.
Slut: desirable woman who has sex with someone other than yourself.
Who let the owls out?? Don`t sing the chorus you`ll make it worse.
When I think of you I touch myself ... On my temples ... You give me a migraine.
Unwritten Rule of the Day: Don´t make eye contact while eating a banana.
You know you`re getting old when you fall down and wonder what else you can do while you`re down there.
I only have a kitchen because it came with the house.
Seems like I can`t go anywhere in my house without somebody recognizing me.
If you ever hit rock bottom, bring some beer. I`m almost out.
In Canada, she`s Kilometery Cyrus.
Baking soda seems like a scam. "Be sure to keep this box of magic white powder in the back of your refrigerator."
I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell. :)
Ever noticed that `beer can` in a british accent sounds exactly like `bacon` in a jamaican accent?