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I left work in slow motion but it didn’t blow up behind me.
Just once, I would like to see a person on a daytime talk show say, "dad was a good parent...mom was a good parent...the problem is me, I`m just a sh!thead."
You guys know that there are things higher than kites, right?
i feel naked without my mobile !
Respect your elders. They made it through school without Google and Wikipedia.
Stand for what you believe in. Or sit on the couch and have a couple of donuts. It`s a free country really.
Plot twist: name your pets after passwords.
Dogs are God`s way of apologizing for your relatives.
Don’t get me started. I don’t come with brakes.
I started to keep a notepad beside the bed so that I can write down post at night, so far I have: Really shitty handwriting in the dark.
This might be the worst online counseling site ever.
Whenever you`re feeling down and in the dumps, just remember...the rest of us have been feeling that way about you too!
All the things I really like to do are either immoral, illegal, or fattening
Why do people with bad breath always have to tell me secrets??
It’s not pretty being easy.