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Just dropped part of a cookie into my printer, so I hit "copy"
Weird when someone vanishes from your Facebook feed for 3 years then suddenly reemerges with the results of a "Which Muppet Are You?" quiz.
DATING TIP: Any time someone is hot and you`re too scared to approach them, remind yourself that they`ve probably had diarrhea at some point
I feel like the majority of Eminem`s songs are just him reading from his diary with angry background music.
English = Hello. Spanish = Hola. French = Bonjour. Japanese = Konnichiwa. Chinese = Nî Hâo. Italian = Ciao. Me = Sup B*tches.
When in darkness, pray. If you pray and nothing happens, I think it is the high time you paid your electricity bill.
i just peed so hard that I laughed a little bit
Behind that fat girl is a beautiful woman...No seriously, she`s in the way.
loves poetry, long walks and poking dead things with a stick.
lifes like a box of chocolates, never know whatcha gonna get (:
Uses for the plastic ruler..... 5% to draw stright lines 95 % to hit people.
Just seen this girl walk into a lamp post! I could have stopped her but that wouldn`t have been funny would it
I usually want to post intelligent and witty comments. But I end up posting stupid and funny ones so my friends can understand them.
If we can put a satellite in orbit around a comet 4 billion miles away, perhaps someday we can put a working wireless printer in my office.
My girlfriend says I need to grow up. I think she`s just angry I didn`t give her the password to my pillow fort.