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Didja ever get to know someone so well, that you wish you didn`t know them at all????
It’s embarrassing that 90% of my Google history is just words I wasn’t sure how to spell, and yes I googled embarrassing.
Judge me if you will, just keep the verdict to yourself.
My new workout video is 20 minutes of me vacuuming over the same piece of string instead of picking it up.
Dear Mother Nature, I would like to cancel my monthly subscription please… Urs Sincerely, 100% OF ALL WOMEN IN THE WORLD!
Saying that your company has been in business since the 1800`s isn`t a selling point. Slavery existed then too...
Found out the name of my neighbor`s cat. In other news, I now have free internet.
I`m starting to think that the Facebook status update I liked has had absolutely no influence on Government policy at all ...
The best thing about hand sanitiser is that when you put it on, it looks like you are plotting to take over the world.
I wonder who was the first person to see an egg come out of a chicken`s booty and think..."I`m gonna eat that!"
People in Detroit call Grand Theft Auto V "Tuesday"
“Latte” is Latin for: You paid too much for that coffee.
I was trying to think of something really deep to post on Facebook this morning. The Mariana Trench comes to mind.
The sun and I have an understanding. He gets up before I do.
Here is a thought for all you mind readers out there…