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Nothing makes me turn off my car and start leisurely Facebooking than someone honking at me to pull out of a parking space.
I miss the good old days when we blamed Marilyn Manson for all our problems.
Delete cookies? Why on Earth would I want to do that?! I LOVE COOKIES
I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes...
I was so disturbed by hearing about all the people using marijuana today that I almost dropped my deep-fried Snickers bar into my 48oz Coke.
If you ever need anything please don`t hesitate to ask someone else first.
That`s a horrible idea ... What time?
Because of tanning beds, 1000 years from now archaeologists will think we used to fry people as punishment.
Life is what you make it = 10% Shit happens = 90%
A psychologist is selling a video that teaches you how to test your dog’s IQ. Here’s how it works: If you spend $12.99 for the video, your dog is smarter than you.
Blue&Black or White&Gold? Who cares what color the dress is, so long as its balled up on the floor of my bedroom.
I like when google answers my stupid questions because it means I`m not the only one asking google stupid questions.
I`ll go to great lengths to scavenge other devices for batteries, before I will go out to buy new ones
She’s thinking about having beer pong at her reception… that’s walking a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
My last boyfriend used to smile and say "I love you" to me every morning as he left for work. At least I think that`s what he was saying. It can be tricky to lip read through binoculars.