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I will not be satisfied until I see a car with one woman sticker and twelve cat stickers.
You`re not a geek or a nerd because you always have to have the latest high tech gadgets and electronics. YOU`RE RICH
"Probiotic" sounds a lot better than "bacteria infested"
It doesn`t matter how old you are, If you hear the ice cream truck jingle you jump out the window for that sh!t.
Maybe Oscar wouldn`t have been so grouchy if the people on Sesame Street cared about the fact that he`s homeless
Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial muscles.
It`s really quite simple ... I do what I want! ... The End.
People that chew gum and drink alcohol what the f*ck is wrong with you.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you’re on.
If my body was a car, I`d trade it in for a newer model. Cause everytime I cough or sneeze, my radiator leeks and my exhaust backfires.
I`m not saying we should kill all the incompetent people. I`m simply suggesting we remove all the warning labels and let the problem sort itself out.
I never said "you were stupid" I said "you are stupid", there`s nothing past tense about it!
Drinking Game: Tape a fake mustache to your TV. Drink every time it lines up with someone`s face.
NASCAR pit crews are always retiring. Let it sink in: now laugh