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Running away does not help you with your problems, unless you are fat.
Who else has dropped the phone on their face while laying in bed reading Facebook?
I fold my laundry just like everyone else. About 3 weeks after the dryer buzzes.
What doesn`t kill you makes you stronger. Except for bears. Bears will kill you.
You know nothing about a woman, until she is drunk and mad at you.
I hate people that take drugs, specially U.S. Customs and the D.E.A.
I never said I hated you. I just said that if you where on fire, I would consider roasting marshmallows. Big difference.
Why am I not allowed to post anything on here?
I ran into my ex the other day. I could have sworn the light was green.
I hope the final frame of Breaking Bad is white text on black background: "None of this would have happened if we had Universal Healthcare."
Money may not buy happiness but it can certainly improve the quality of your misery
I sure do feel a whole lot more attractive at WalMart than I do at the gym.
FACT: The higher pitched my "hey!" the greater the chance I don`t remember who you are.
I could snap at any moment. Seriously, with either hand.
I`m smiling, that alone should scare you.