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FYI fellas: if you wake up with some chick and you can`t remember her name, take her to Starbucks. They`ll write her name on the cup for ya!!!
"Fidget Spinners are so dumb pointless." -The generation that purchased over 5 million Pet Rocks.
If you didn`t hear it with your own ears or see it with you own eyes. Don`t invent it with your small mind, and share it with your big mouth.
My method of going "offline" in FB chat is to simply ignore you.
Do stupid people ever hit a point in their life, where they realize they’re stupid?
The one good thing about an egotist. They don`t talk about other people.
Facebook would be much more interesting if they let you decide, which part of the body you wanna Poke.
The most amazing thing about the internet is how it allows you, with the click of a few buttons, to do absolutely nothing with your life.
No one is as ugly as their driver`s license, and nobody is attractive as their profile picture.
You know that tingly feeling you get when you have a crush on someone? That’s common sense leaving your body.
When I see a cute couple making out I yell, ” I knew you’re seeing somebody else!” and run crying.
My hearing is fine. There`s no need to repeat yourself! I ignored you perfectly well the first time.
Due To ObamaCare and the poor economy Holiday Cheer this year will be distributed in Shot Glasses...
I don`t let my friends do stupid things... ALONE
It`s not too late to start convincing our children that the world really did end in 2012 and we`re the survivors.