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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I smile when I`m having dirty thoughts :)
"How much for the man cave?" "Sir that`s a doghouse." "Can you install cable?"
I’m sorry I slapped you. It’s just you seemed like you weren’t going to stop talking and I panicked.
In the 1960s, if you said "All my music is in the cloud" it was due to mushrooms; not Apple.
"May the 4th" be with you!
I sent that "Ancestry " site some information on my family tree. They sent me back a packet of seeds and suggested that I just start over
When I see a tire swing swaying gently in the breeze, I like to believe its daydreaming about life on the open road.
I keep having this dream that I`m being carried off by a giant squirrel. Does that make me nuts?
Marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your life.
I wish my bladder had a snooze button.
Sometimes I can`t figure out if I`m in pre-school... high school.. oh wait, I`m at work.
A worm is a pretty disappointing prize for getting up early if you ask me.
I really like what you`ve done with your crazy.
It`s nice to feel wanted. Even if it`s by the FBI.
The sun and I have an understanding. He gets up before I do.