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You look happy. Let me see what I can do about that. - Life.
I have a condition that prevents me from going on a diet ... I get hungry.
You`d think my boss would know me by now and stop asking me everyday if I`ve been drinking.
I never forget a breast, I mean face. I never forget a face.
If I ran my legs as much as I did my mouth, I`d be in fantastic shape.
i don`t know what to say on your comment so i just hit "like" so you won`t be upset that ignored you.
I am one of those people who presses every button in the elevator when I`m getting out =]
My toddler gets pretty impatient with me for someone who takes 45 minutes to eat an egg.
I have tons of friends! Well i only have one... but she ways a ton!
I like to gaze up at the stars at night and think about how somewhere there is intelligent life that hates doing laundry as much as I do.
Today feels like a stay in bed, pull the blankets over your head, and pretend you`re on an adventure in a kangaroo`s pouch type of day
sleep is for people without netflix
Sex, drugs and candy crush all have one thing in common. It`s only an addiction if you start paying for it.
Common sense is like deodorant....The people who need it most never use it.
What if Justin Bieber is also Miley Cyrus? I mean have you ever seen them in one place at the same time?