Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
They call cat people crazy but they`re not the ones outside at 5AM putting fresh dog poop into little baggies.
Ask your doctor if walking blindly into traffic is right for you
I`ve discovered I own five umbrellas, if anyone wants to stage a musical number.
Who do Walmart shoppers make fun of?
Your car took up two spaces, I tried to move it over with my key.
Back in my day, we didn’t have computers or the internet. Everyone had to walk uphill for days to tell me I’m an a$$hole.
I just apologized to my wife for something she did wrong. Marriage is fun.
We look like we are being productive, but really, we are just talking sh!t about co-workers and how drunk we got last weekend.
Why do the commercials with the husband and wife doing a home improvement project never show the fistfight?
If two cannibals fight, does that make it a food fight?
If I were a pilot I would scream “WE’RE GOING DOWN” every time I landed the plane.
If the customer is always right, then why isn’t anything for free?
I`m sorry. . . I didn`t mean to stare. . . it`s just that I have never seen stupid of this magnitude up close before
A few more months without getting laid and I should be eligible for employment at Gamestop.
I’m the type of person who looks at the menu for five minutes but ends up ordering the same exact thing every time.