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There’s a wild side to EVERY innocent face.
Here`s a thought: Let`s let the illegal Mexicans stay and send the whining crybabies to Mexico. At least the illegal Mexicans are willing to work.
I need plastic surgery to fix whatever it is about my face that gives people the impression I want to hear about their relationship problems.
**TORNADO WARNING** Everyone head to Giants Stadium. Safest place to avoid a touch down.
Sitting on my hand until it gets numb so it feels like someone else is folding my laundry.
woman belong in the kitchen? thats where the knives are you fool.
We spend 33% of our life sleeping, 33% wanting to be asleep and the rest apologizing to women.
Remember…it’s only embarrassing if you care what people think.
Car next to me in the liquor store parking lot has a family sticker. She has seven kids! ... I better get in there quick! She`s gonna buy it all.
Autocorrect is changing correctly spelled words. I’m starting to think it has a mind of its AUTOCORRECT IS HARMLESS. GO ABOUT YOUR BUSINESS.
In about 20 years, that cherry tattoo on your cleavage is gonna look like a pair of raisins and that butterfly you got tatted on back is gonna look like a moth.
YouTube is so addicting, I click on a music video and next thing you know I`m watching how to make ice cream.
Welcome to Plastic Surgery Addicts Anonymous. I see a lot of new faces in the room this week and I`m very disappointed with all of you.
They`re called `selfies` because the only one who`s interested in them is yourself.
The best time to re-examine your life is when you find yourself reluctantly nodding to the questions asked at the start of an infomercial.